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How To Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin
Ask anyone why they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and chances are they will come up with a long list of reason why they feel they aren’t good enough.
“I’m not pretty enough”
“I’m way too fat”
“My skin is gross”
“My teeth are crooked”
“My nose is too big”
Those are all thoughts that have crossed through my mind throughout my life. Along with many others, these thoughts consumed me. I wasn’t comfortable in my skin. I wasn’t comfortable with my body, my looks. But most of all I wasn’t comfortable with myself.
If you have learned how to feel comfortable in your own skin, then you have mastered one of life’s most sought after traits. Feeling uncomfortable with yourself can hinder not only your social life, but also your professional life and most of all, your happiness. When you feel comfortable and confident, you will be more likely to go after what you want, and achieve your goals.
When you’re feeling low, feeling comfortable with yourself can seem absolutely impossible. So, what’s the deal? How do you feel more comfortable in your own skin? How do you learn to love yourself?
I can truly say that there is nothing more freeing than feeling comfortable in your skin, confident with who you are and being happy with what you have.
Without my self-discovery journey this past year, I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. I wouldn’t be who I am.
What Does It Mean To Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin
Being comfortable in your own skin is so much more than just feeling confident. It’s feeling content, happy and accepting yourself and who you are completely.
Being comfortable in your own skin is a form of bliss.
It’s fully accepting yourself. And who you are. Where you are at in your life. Being at peace with your past and your mistakes. Forgiving yourself. Accepting yourself.
It’s believing in yourself. In your worth and abilities.
On the flip side, being comfortable in your own skin must not be confused with being complacent. Throughout life you will face challenges and you will need to adapt and change according to those challenges.
Change is a good thing and you should always welcome it. It means you are growing. Succeeding.
You can still be comfortable in yourself and confident and still feel the need to develop, change, go after your goals and dreams.
You don’t have to stop bettering yourself to finally feel comfortable. In fact, when you feel better about yourself, it can help you accomplish so much more in life.
Why Is It Important To Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin
Now that we know what it means to feel comfortable in our skin, why is that important exactly?
Feeling comfortable with yourself will help you feel more confident. When you feel confident in who you are, it will show in your daily life. When you’re at work, with friends, on a first date.
Each and every day we are faced with certain challenges and feeling confident in yourself will help you perform better. It will help you gain the confidence to go after what you want. Get that big promotion. Ask that cutie out at your gym.
When you feel comfortable with who you are, you won’t have to think twice about standing up for you deserve. Or doing something risky in order to accomplish your dreams.
You’ll be able to push yourself more because you know yourself and know what you’re capable of. You’ll believe in yourself.
When you don’t feel comfortable in your skin, you are more likely to be shy or standoff-ish to others. You won’t see yourself as deserving or capable.
Ways To Feel More Comfortable With Yourself
1. Stop The Comparison Trap
As they say, comparison is the thief of joy. When you’re constantly comparing yourself to other, of course you are going to feel low, unaccomplished and unworthy!
I used to be so guilty of comparing myself to my friends. Many of my friends are married with families. Or have their first house. I thought they were accomplishing so much more than me. I felt I would never get to where they were in life. It made me feel hopeless.
But then I realized, there’s no rule in life that says I need to be married, with kids and have my own house at the age of 25! So who care if I don’t!
We are all on our own journey and have faced our own set of unique challenges along the way. I know I sure have.
If you find yourself comparing a lot, try spending less time on social media. All that time can be used in such a more productive manner. You could be building your future. Working on your goals.
If your friends have already gotten to where they want to be, then be happy for them, don’t compare yourself and continue working on yourself.
2. Practice Self Love
Practicing self love is one of the best things you can do if you want to learn how to feel comfortable in your own skin.
We are always too hard on ourself. Our own worst critics.
Accept the fact that we all make mistakes and we aren’t perfect. It will make things much easier.
Part of self-love is learning to not be so hard on yourself. Give yourself grace.
Self love is not indulgent or a waste of time. Self love is important for confident, self esteem and feeling comfortable with who you are.
Be good to yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Find ways to nourish your mind, body and soul. Give yourself what you need.
For example, if you’re feeling burnt out, take a break. Take yourself on a lunch date and just enjoy being in the moment.
3. Practice Positivity
Being more positive can go a long way in life. When you are more positive in general, you will be more positive and nicer towards yourself. And that helps you accept yourself and become comfortable in your own skin.
I like to use positive affirmations when I am feeling down. A positive affirmation is just a simple phrase or sentence that helps you focus on the positive in a situation.
I have a great list of positive affirmations for anxiety that will help you come up with your own. Or you can google, there’s a ton of inspiring and positive quotes out there!
You can also try to change your mindset to focus more on the positives in life.
In certain situations, the negatives are all we see. And that’s because our mindset has been trained to pick out the negatives. However, you can always find the positive in a situation.
Next time you are faced with a challenge, try to pick out the positives in your situation. You will instantly feel better!
4. Practice Gratitude
It’s so easy to take what we have for granted. We are all guilty of it!
When I am feeling down, I like to think of all the things I have accomplished so far in my life. I challenge you to do the same. Write them down on a piece of paper. I guarantee you’ll be surprised at how many things you have already accomplished in life.
You will instantly feel better when you focus on the good you have done. The amazing things you have done. It will make you feel like you can do so much more! (HINT: YOU CAN!)
5. Stop Trying To Please Everyone
We all have that one person we want to please no matter what. Even if it kills us. And, truthfully, they don’t matter. What they think doesn’t matter. So get them out of your head and stop worrying about what they think.
Their happiness doesn’t matter. What they think of you doesn’t define you.
This is something I struggle with daily. I am always afraid of what people think about it. Being judged for my actions. But truly at the end of the day, they don’t even think twice about you, so you shouldn’t think twice about them!
Don’t waste your time worrying about what others think of you.
The problem with seeking validation from others and constantly wanting to please people is that you start living for other people and not yourself.
And that’s how you end up feeling unworthy and uncomfortable in your life.
If you truly want to be comfortable in your own skin, learn how to live for yourself and no one else. Once you do that, you’ll be able to live for you and only you. Put your needs and wants over anyone else’s.
I know it’s easier said than done. And it’s something I still struggle with! But as long as you are actively working on it, it will get better with time.
6. Discover Yourself
So many people are uncomfortable with being alone. And that’s usually because they just haven’t taken the time to truly get to know yourself and love yourself.
Once you accept and love yourself, you will feel so comfortable in your own skin and you will be content and happy with being alone.
If you truly have no idea how to do that, then check out a self-discovery journal. It will help guide you through getting to know your true self. I love this one because it goes over your values, your wants and needs and so much more! It helped me so much when I began my self-discovery journey.
7. Stop Caring About What Other People Think
There will always be someone who doesn’t like you, accept you or want you. And that’s okay! It’s just a part of life. I wish I had figured that out sooner.
Although, it’s definitely an unpleasant feeling, truly they do not matter! What they think does not matter. It does not define you.
You are still worthy, capable, beautiful and unique.
Live your life the way you want to and be happy.
8. Try Meditation
Many people forget about the goodness of a guided meditation. Mediations can be great for self-love, self-acceptance and help you feel comfortable in your own skin. Along with a ton of other uses like shyness, sleep, anxiety, etc. meditation can help many different struggles.
I recommend guided mediation, as the guides will be able to help you get your mind into a place and encourage you with positive thoughts.
I love using a guided mediation to really help me get over any feelings of self-doubt. And it really only takes a few minutes each day! A 5-10 minute mediation can really help inspire and motivate you to want to do better and treat yourself better.
Meditation can be something you do daily, weekly, or even just randomly when you feel you need a little help in the self-love department. But don’t underestimate the power of a good meditation to help you feel comfortable and confident in your skin!
9. Know That You Are Constantly Growing
Growth is just a part of life. And so is change. Just accept that fact now. You are in a constant state of growth and change, whether you realize it or not.
You aren’t the same person you were last year, last month or even yesterday! So yes, maybe you loved who you were a year ago. But you aren’t the same person anymore. Do you still love yourself just the same? You should!
In order to be comfortable in your own skin and accept yourself, you need to understand that you will always be changing, growing and getting better. So you will have to continue to accept your flaws and mistakes throughout life.
But growth is truly amazing. Embrace the change and love yourself for getting through it!
10. Don’t Wish Your Life Away
This day in age we are constantly working on what’s next. What’s coming up. The next goal or dream. The next promotion. And we miss out on a lot of what’s in front of us in this moment.
Although it’s fine to have dreams and an idea of what we want our future to look like, it’s also important to appreciate where we are at in life at each moment.
So often we always focused on the future and we don’t actually enjoy the moment we are in!
Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin is also learning how to appreciate where you are at in this very moment and being proud of yourself for getting this far.
11. Avoid Social Media
This is a tough one. But, what many people don’t realize is that social media is the main source of our insecurities. Social media, television, movies, magazines, all have portrayed this idea of beauty. That you have to look a certain way to be beautiful.
These things develop self-hate, self-loathing, low self-esteem, low confidence and insecurities.
But that’s simply not true.
Luckily, we are starting to see a change in the media. Certain companies have adapted their portrayal of beauty. Including models of all sizes. Unedited and filter free skin showing blemishes and imperfections.
And hopefully that trend continues. But until then, it can be helpful to limit your time on social media. And when you see those perfect people on magazines, just know that it’s not really what they look like.
And those filtered photos on Instagram are completely different than real life.
12. Surround Yourself With Positive People
When those around you are always criticizing you or telling you you need to lose weight or wash your face, of course you’re not going to feel comfortable in your own skin!
Get rid of any toxic and negative people in your life because you don’t need them. They obviously don’t care about you. You need to surround yourself with positive people. Those who lift you up and encourage you. Those who tell you you’re beautiful. Because you are.
It can be tough to let go of people in your life, but you are so much better without them. And without them constantly nagging on you, you will be able to flourish.
13. Be More Self-Aware
This is partly related to getting to know yourself, but a little bit different. Part of feeling comfortable in your own skin is accepting your flaws or traits that you don’t like about yourself. And in order to do that, you need to figure out what those are exactly.
What makes you feel unconfident? Your height? Weight? Your skin? Your accent?
Whatever it is, stop and think, why do I feel this way? Why don’t I like this about myself? Does it truly matter?
This part is hard, and definitely not fun. But it’s a big part of accepting yourself! So don’t skip it.
14. Compliment Yourself Often
There’s nothing like a compliment to truly brighten your day. Think about the last time someone complimented you. How did it make you feel? Confident, right?
When you compliment yourself, you will start to reframe the image of yourself. Your self-image will turn from negative to positive. And that’s what you want.
This doesn’t happen overnight, and will likely be something you need to work on daily. But the effects are truly amazing! And it’s so simple to do.
The best way to do this is develop a positive self-talk habit. Instead of saying “ugh my nose is too big,” tell yourself “my nose was made just for me”
Or you can say something like “my body is strong and capable”
Here are a few affirmations that will be helpful when you are getting started with positive self-talk
- My body is healthy and that’s all that matters
- I radiate confidence
- I love my body and all its imperfections
- My body is perfect just the way it is
- I feel confident and comfortable in my own skin
Feel free to come up with your own or even google some. There are a ton of wonderful and inspiring quotes out there to help you with positivity.
15. Thank Yourself
How often do you thank others? How often do you thank yourself? Do you ever stop and think about what your body allows you to do each day? Pat yourself on the back for all you accomplished?
Instead of focusing on your flaws, take a look at what you love about yourself and your body and focus on that.
There are so many things to love about your body! Here are a few of my favorites:
- I love my mouth for allowing my to taste my favorite coffee this morning
- I love my eyes for helping me see the beauty of others and myself
- I love my wrinkles for showing how much I’ve smiled and laughed
- Thank you for my two hands so I can hold those I hold dear
- Thank you to my brain for getting me through college
- Thank you to my drive and motivation that got me to my dream job
See how easy it is to come up with positive things about yourself? I challenge you to come up with a list of things you can thank yourself for.
There are enough mean people in the world who will say cruel things about your appearance. But you should not be one of them!
16. Accept Compliments
Hear them. Accept them as truth.
I used to be one of those people that received a compliment and just didn’t believe it.
But learn to accept these compliments and believe them. And your life will be so much more positive and happy. Don’t deflect them. Don’t brush them off. Accept them and say thank you. And believe that it is true. Because it is.
17. Forgive Yourself
An essential part of feeling comfortable in your own skin is learning to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and go ahead and forgive yourself for all the mistakes you’ll make in the future.
They’re going to happen, so you might as well just accept that fact and be ready to forgive yourself as soon as they happen.
Don’t punish yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself. Learn from your mistakes and failures and use that to better yourself. Use that to do better next time.
If you fail, it’s okay! Tell yourself, “it’s okay!” And then try it again. You will succeed.
18. Give Yourself Grace
This is another important aspect in learning to love yourself. Giving yourself grace, know that you won’t always be perfect at something. You won’t always be able to the best.
As long as you try, that’s all that matters. You’ll get there eventually! Know you’ll make mistakes along the way. Know that it won’t always be perfect.
When you give yourself grace, you are more lenient on yourself. It goes hand in hand with forgiveness. Giving yourself more grace will allow you to be better, do better.
19. Stop Competing
Life is not a competition, so you shouldn’t treat yours like one. This goes back to comparison. You shouldn’t feel the need to compete with others or compare yourself with others.
We are all on our own journey. We all have our own faults, challenges.
Stop competing with others because it’s not a fair competition.
If you find yourself trying to compete with others and do what they do. Only better. Then take a step back and ask yourself “why am I really doing this?” Is it because you really want that end goal? Or is it just because you feel like you should?
Sure, competition can help motivate you and help drive you towards your goals, but in the end, you don’t need to compete yourself against others.
20. Find Your Joy
The last piece of the puzzle. Finding joy is another big part in feeling comfortable in your own skin. You need to find this joy to create a life that you love. A life that makes you happy and fulfills you.
What are your passions? What makes you happy? What makes you feel joy?
In the midst of work, deadline, meeting, projects, a social life, school, we lose focus on what truly makes us happy. What makes life worth living. What is that for you?
Take some time to really think about that and reflect.
Whatever it is, make that your focus. Make it happen. Work on it.
What To Do When You Don’t Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin
There is nothing worse than feeling physically uncomfortable in your own skin. It’s one of the worst feelings and it’s so hard to shake. So how do you even start to learn how to feel comfortable in your own skin? Where do you even being?
Well, first you need to realize that it’s not going to happen overnight! It’s going to take time and effort on your part. You need to get to know yourself, your wants and needs. Find out who you truly are.
Once you know yourself, you will love yourself. That part will come naturally!
But you also need to accept yourself. Your body, your features, your personality, even your faults and imperfections. We all have them, it’s okay! It’s what makes us human.
The hard part is accepting and coming to terms with who you are, even if there are certain things about yourself that you don’t like. Accept them anyway! No one is perfect.
How I Became More Comfortable In My Skin
Until very recently, I knew nothing about how to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. I grew up in the age of teen magazines where the hottest new starlet would show up on the cover with all their imperfections perfected.
A skinny body. Acne free skin. Perfect, white, straight teeth. Gorgeous clothes. Frizz-free and perfectly styled hair.
When we’re growing up, we always look to these people as role models. And we see their perfect features, so of course, we want to look like that too.
Growing up, I remember people telling me I was pretty or beautiful. But I never believed them. I didn’t look like those stars on the cover of Seventeen. I was painfully shy because I just didn’t feel pretty. I didn’t feel confident with who I was. I was afraid of people judging me. My looks. My actions. Everything I did.
As I got older, I became more and more self-conscious. Even into my twenties, things seemed to get worse and worse.
But, the past year or so, I’ve grown so much. More than I ever thought possible. And with that growth has come self-discovery, self-acceptance and lots of self-love.
I truly feel more comfortable in my skin than I did a year ago. I love who I am and who I am becoming. I feel more confident, like I can reach my goals and then some. I feel happy.
It’s such a great feeling to feel comfortable with who you are.
In the past year or so, I’ve tried to implement these tips that I have mentioned above. I will be honest though, I don’t walk around confident all the time. It’s a work in progress and that’s okay.
But I am slowly getting better at being comfortable in my own skin, being confident with who I am and being happy with where I am in my life.
The Best Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin Quotes
These are my all time favorite quotes that help me feel comfortable in my own skin and make me feel confident! If you need a little encouragement to love yourself, then make these your mantra.
The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are, and what you are- bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling- when you don’t feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny anything. To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength. – Charles Handy
When you’re comfortable in your own skin, you look beautiful, regardless of any flaws. – Emily Deschanel
Feeling comfortable in your skin takes a willingness to let go of what you wish you were & accept yourself instead– Counselingrecovery.com
You’re going to be in your own skin until you die. You might has well get comfortable in it.
The world is simply our mirror. When we love ourselves exactly as we are, the rest of the world will follow our lead.
When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care a bit!
How I feel about myself is more important than how I look. Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin – that’s what really makes you beautiful – Bobbi Brown
How Did You Learn How To Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin?
Feeling comfortable in your own skin does not come naturally to most people. And many times it’s a daily struggle! But it’s possible to work on yourself everyday, love and accept yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin.
I hope this post (and the quotes) have inspired you to learn how to love yourself more. You are absolutely, beautiful, amazing and capable of anything you set your mind to.