Personal Development

How You Are Sabotaging Your Own Happiness

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There are ways that we all self sabotage ourselves in life, every single day, even without realizing it. Many times it ends up sabotaging our happiness, too! This is detrimental to our mental health. I am guilty of many of these and continue to work on myself to improve my happiness and mental health, and I want you to do the same!

How You Are Sabotaging Happiness

1. Overeating

This is something I am SO guilty of! I tend to eat my feelings and stress eat. Anytime I get super stressed or in a down mood, I start craving unhealthy foods. And, of course, I binge eat a ton of calories and then immediately feel guilty about it!

Not only that, but it’s also bad for your health to eat too many calories and unhealthy, fatty foods.

Both of these things combined can affect your mental health.

To combat this, anytime I start to feel stressed or down, I do a workout! Even if it’s only 10 minutes, my mood is immediately better and I no longer crave something unhealthy.

A little disclaimer, I am not preaching to never eat unhealthy or too much, because that’s part of the fun in life! I love food and love to cook and it will always be something I enjoy. It’s just not healthy to do it all the time!

2. Spending Too Much Money

how you are sabotaging your happiness

A little splurge every now and then isn’t bad, but if you’re doing some retail therapy every time something bad happens, you’ll only get yourself into more trouble.

I am a big online shopper so I have definitely done this before. Now, what I do is sleep on it. If I find something I want, I go to bed and wake up the next morning and see if I still want it. 9 times out of 10, I wake up the next morning feeling so glad I didn’t purchase it!

3. Constantly Being On Social Media

I used to be so bad about this, especially when I was in college! I used to get on my phone when I had downtime between classes or when waiting for class to start. Once you get in that habit, it’s hard to stop!

Of course, I do still use social media, but you don’t need to be on your phone every second that you’re free.

Here are some tips to help you reduce your social media use.

4. Doubting Yourself

When you are constantly telling yourself you aren’t good enough or qualified enough, of course you’re not going to be happy with yourself or your life! Stop doubting that you don’t have what it takes and start believing in yourself.

5. Only Pleasing Others

I am guilty of wanting to always make everyone else happy, but in doing that, I am sacrificing my own happiness. Yes, you should want to make those you care about happy, but at the same time you have to think about yourself.

6. Not Following Your Dreams

Many people think that they have to follow a certain path to be successful, and that is not true at all! For example, one of my friends went to college because she thought that’s what she had to do. And she was miserable the whole time! She didn’t actually want to go.

This goes back to doubting yourself as well. You have to believe in yourself and that you can accomplish your dreams, otherwise they will never come true. Don’t be afraid to go after what you want.

7. Settling

I think settling is something we are all guilty of in some way or another. And it’s completely understandable! Eventually, you settle in and get comfortable, and sometimes are afraid to take a new leap or try something new.

Or maybe you’re too afraid to give up something, like a relationship. Starting fresh is a daunting task.

Here is a real life example that I am dealing with right now….

After college, I moved back in with my parents to save up money for a house. I’ve been saving and saving since I started my full time job almost a year ago. I’ve also been seriously looking at houses and what I can afford just isn’t what I want. I have so wanted to settle and just buy something. It’s been a dream of mine for years to own my own house. But I have to keep reminding myself that a house is a huge purchase and something I should NOT settle on!

8. Working Too Much

sabotaging happiness

I am also guilty of this! Between my full time job, my blog and Etsy shop, I am always working! Too often, I stay up too late writing a new blog post and skip out on dinner with some friends to work some more.

I have a never ending to do list for my blog and it’s hard to say no to. But, working too much will definitely affect your happiness!

Especially now in quarantine, I have a little extra time and spend it working! I am slowly getting better at putting my laptop and phone away and enjoying Netflix or my current book

Having a good work ethic is good, but you also need to enjoy life! When you are constantly working, you are sabotaging your own happiness because you never get to let loose and have fun. You’re always focused on the next project or deadline.

9. Only Seeing The Negative

In other words, being a pessimist. When you only see the negative in a situation. Or perhaps you’re surrounding yourself with negative people who don’t bring out the best in you.

Either way, it has a huge impact on your overall happiness.

Try to find the good in a situation and focus on that, instead of the negative. And kick out any negative, toxic people in your life.

10. Being Too Hard On Yourself

It’s easy to beat yourself up after you fail at something. I’ve done it so many times I can’t even count anymore. But the truth it, everyone fails at something at least a few times in their life. And they survive!

And you will too.

If something doesn’t go your way, or you don’t get that job, don’t think that you weren’t good enough. Don’t be hard on yourself about what you did wrong. Think about how you can grow and learn from the experience and turn it into a positive one.


Hopefully this post was motiving to you and you’ve learned a little bit about yourself. I know I have! These are all things I have done a time or two (or more) in my life. But, I’m trying to do better and stop sabotaging my own happiness. And you should too!

Check out my post on toxic habits you should quit immediately!

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